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In which Allan picks up a paintbrush and we all get scared!

Busy few weeks.   Had some fun doing some recording with our friend, Mike.  Most of the comedy songs are recorded now and we had a great laugh doing them. Allan was beginning to sound like Howard from Last of the Summer Wine.  Big thanks, as ever to Mike.

Had a day out in Lichfield with Norma and Alan.  We have been friends since Junior School. Good to be relaxed in people’s company.  It was perfect weather for strolling, eating and talking.  These are things we are very good at.  We have considerable experience in all three.

Had a meal at the Twofer Saxon’s Thingy near Waitrose at Lichfield. Have finally given up on Wetherspoons at Lichfield for our Sunday treat because the breakfast was always cold.  How basic is a hot breakfast.  Cold baked beans and congealed egg can become tedious after a while. Come on Wetherspoons….get your finger out!

















Big thank you to our lovely neighbours…. Gail, Alan and Kayleigh….. they are so kind to us.  Not only do they let me share Milo their Cat they also bought me a beautiful bouquet of Lilies and a Mother’s Day card on Milo’s behalf.

How sweet is that?  They put our bins out and fetch them back if we are away and do so many little acts of kindness.

Caught a bit of Britain’s Got Talent.  This has become a total parody of itself.  We see real talent each month at the Old Silhilians.  Rock Legend Robert Plant and Supercool Steve Gibbons both turned up this month and did a spot. We have met Robert a few times and worked with him a couple of times.  Whenever he talks to Allan I’ve noticed his Black Country accent soon resurfaces. First time we have ever seen Steve Gibbons play.  We have met him before but not heard him sing.  He was totally mesmerising. What an amazing showman although a little bit scary! So intense! Strange night. Met an old friend’s daughter.  Beth, who got up and sang a couple of songs….really, really well.  Robert Plant came over and said he’d enjoyed her spot. I think she stopped breathing for a couple of minutes until he moved away. She was so thrilled. Her Mother, Trish, started in folk clubs the same time as us and we became friends sharing the Residency at the Folk Club at the Crown in Lichfield. She sang in Winterwood and Back Street Slide.  She died very young so it was a very emotional shock to meet Beth again after so many years. Trish would have been so proud of her. Incredible night. Love the people there.  Live music gets no better than this.

steve gibbons

The uber cool Steve Gibbons

Next morning  we crawled out of bed and got on the road for Criccieth. Considering a caravan is supposed to be home from home we take  a car full of rubbish each time we go. Just got back home after 9 days in North Wales.Can’t believe we had such wonderful weather again.  Allan has a cunning plan to avoid work of any description. This has not gone unnoticed.  I always get someone come over at the end of a gig to say they have noticed Allan is standing round talking while I am packing all the gear away.

In Wales he has perfected this.  If it is raining he can’t go out and clean the windows, wash the van, cut any trees down etc. and if the weather is good he can’t waste it by hanging around the van. He did however, startle the neighbours by painting the steps…after I had rubbed them down!  Criccieth is still having no truck with the new technology.  The radio, the phone, the eye patch as Allan calls it, the laptop and the telly still won’t pick up a signal…or if they do it is spasmodic.  Half a Jonathan Creek is no good at all. “And the murder was committed”………..!!!!!!!  It got so bad we had to talk to each other and at one point Allan even thought he might get an early night. I soon put him straight on that one. I cut the trees down and lacerated my arm so badly it looked as if a small tiger had been chewing it.  Something Welsh bit me on the thigh.  Allan tried to convince me we had been involved in some passionate sex game but my Catholic radar would have woken me if anything untoward had occured in the downstairs department during the night.  The Welsh seem to have more exotic insects than we do.  Whatever it was  left a bite mark and a very big bruise on my thigh.  I nearly took a selfie of it but thought it might get confused with the colourful array of veins which you may remember Allan used to direct someone to the Motorway with when I was wearing cutoffs. I am a regular visitor to the Pharmacy in Porthmadog where they have a little counselling booth….I have my own chair.  I usually go in and present some part of my body with a bite or a rash and say “What do you think this is?”  The last time I went in there the Pharmacist told me he thought I could be allergic to Wales!!

Had some fun days out while we were there.  Went to Llandudno.  As someone said if the zimmers and Mobility scooters don’t get you along the seafront then the seagulls will. They have the most aggressive seagulls there.  They swoop down and fly off with whatever you are eating.  They had my Marks and Sparks Sandwich once. I tore a strip off some yobs last year for throwing bricks at them. I told a gang of them to “Grow up and stop acting like brain dead morons!” Allan slunk off in case they retaliated.  Love the place, though. Lots of wooden sculptures from Alice in Wonderland.  Had one took with Tweedledum and Tweedledee.  Very, very busy….we had to park a bit out of town. Allan bought another Big Bang T shirt the same as the one he has already got. I think it might be an age thing.  Woken each morning by the Magpies doing their clog dancing routines on the top of the van roof.  Had to settle back down when we get home. I have to keep reminding Allan that now we are back home and  the toilet is not at the bottom of the bed….that in fact, is the wardrobe!




Gay marriages in the news at the moment. There’s probably much more sex and far fewer arguments about leaving up the toilet seat.

There’s a rumour going round that there’s a well known T.V. personality who wasn’t a Paedophile.

Have you heard the new Coldplay single…it’s called Chris Martin.   They even managed to be pretentious when splitting up……calling it conscious uncoupling.

I asked Allan the other night “Am I wearing too much make up. He said “It depends if you are going out to try to kill Batman.”

Don’t forget….if you love something set it free.  If it returns it probably can’t pay off it’s Student Loans.





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